I've never been so sad in my life. I'm not trying to gain attention or what. If you don't know what happened, then fuck it don't bother asking. I will only tell this to people whom i know won't judge me. This sadness can't be cured even with 3 hours of L4D. I really can't get over it. Its seriously fucked up. I mean its screwed up, fucked up. Whats the fucking point? It's killing me inside, thanks to everyone for cheering me up, but this feeling is horrible.
Cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do,
when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
Thanks to everyone who cared for me
Like Eunice, Nat, Prissy, Wenjie, YS, Nana etc.
I luv y'all, mwah <3
Oh and happy 15th birthday, Nana.
I love you sweetheart
Thanks for making ____ your birthday wish.
I hope it'll come true!
ILY, sis(:
Happy Valentine's days <3
Valentine was wonderful,lovely. (:. Baby bought me a guess bag for valentine. Its pink and white with matching chains. It was soooo prettyful, was really happy. But now, he's pok! Lol. Went over to Eastpoint to trim my hair with Baby after he fetched me from my house. After trimming, went over to Mello's? place to have my hotplate beancurd. (: . Baby had hor fun to go with it while i had chicken diced rice. Tasted better now compared to the past. (: After eating, cabbed down to Kbox, to meet the valentine couple, Ferlin & Vincenttttttt.
I didn't see her for so fucking long. I fucking miss her! Camwhored with Ferlin, talked about the past. Bitched about people. Doing girly stuff. (: , oh oh, and 4 of us went Kbox and had the Valentine's package. The first part of the package was to write messages on the two hearts they given us. The 2nd part was the pail which have alot of syringes inside. Each syringes had a different bad charateristics pasted on it. You were supposed to pick the one which describes your partner. Lol.
I picked for eric ; STUBBORN
He picked for me ; PETTY
*rolls eyes.
I've been reflecting really on myself after the last meeting with Charlene. Reflecting on my decisions and about whether i've matured and stuff from my sec2 days. I'm currently loving my friends now, i think the world of them. Also, they're all very close to my mum, which i guess is a good thing? (: . Charlene asked me whether can i deem them as my true friends? I answered yes. Why? Cause these are my friends who will scold me. They dont just let me do whatever i want. Like what everyone say, true friends are people who will tell you the truth, no matter whether it hurts you anot, cause ultimately one day they know you'll be thankful. They put you in front of themselves, even if they get hurt or get hated, they just want you to be happy. They just want you to remember them in the long run, not as a friend but as someone who made a great difference in your life.
Then Charlene talked about boyfriends, how do i know that Eric is THE ONE. I think that, he is the one cause we had the worst of fights, been through the worst of obstacles, we are still as close as ever. Even though we fight everyday over random stuff we still love each other deep down. Even though the words i love you seem meaningless as we say them to each other everyday, but our actions prove we love each other. Is not the words that count. Action speaks louder then words. By the way he respects his family and my family and most importantly, my mother and my friends shows that he respects me for who i am. I never regret dating him 1 year and a half ago. Maybe i did, sometimes, say i do in a fit of angers, but i know i'm just lying to make myself feel better.
I never regretted dating Eric, i never regretted knowing Priscilla, Natasha, Sherri, Ferlin, Nana, Vincent, Jeremy, Felix, Zaclynn, Sokkan, Yongshen, and Elise sheeppp. I love you guys and i want you all to know you mean the world to me
Thanks Natasha. I love you godsister! Thanks for caring, thanks for cheering me up with your sadistic jokes, thanks for being my bubble tea kaki and the best bitching partner i ever had. Like what they say from mean girls and i quote " you crack gretchen Natasha, you know yo crack the lock on Regina's Vanessa's whole dirty history. :D
Thanks Priscilla for your advice. Thanks for helping me voice out my problems. Thanks for caring and Thanks to be the first few to instant message me whenever i change my pm to a sad one.
Thanks Sherri for being my shopping kaki, and also being one of the best sharing partners ever. You're not shy to express your true feelings so i get the real hard advice not a one that you build up to make me happy.
Thanks Ferlin for being there for me. Even though we're not as close, but i miss you and would like to see more of you. Beep me soon :D * inserts lots of love!
Thanks Nana, for being my L4D kaki, for being my bestbabe, for bitching with me and helping me throughout ! Even though you're younger then me but you're wiser then any 14/15/16 year old. Thanks for your constuctive advice and thanks for being the one who accompany me during nights when i feel like i could shoot myself cause im bored.
Thanks Vincent, for being the world-class sympathiser and the world-class personal hairdresser for me *nudge nudge. Thanks for hearing me kaopeh about Eric and helping me talk to him. Lol, thanks for being my guy...sister...i mean guyBROTHER. lol
Thanks to both Felix and Zaclynn, even though we aren't close and you're Eric friend but you both take care of me and i really appreciate that you treat me as one of the kind and not treating me as Eric's girlfriend. Thanks alot. xoxo.
Thanks JEREMY. i know you'll be fucking surprised. Hahah, for caring about me so much, for treating me like your real blood sister. I'll be calling you korkor soon. Lol. Thanks for hearing me out, thanks for giving me advice, thanks for sending me the lupe fiasco song and thanks for being so nice to me. ilyKORKOR. HAHA.
Thanks to Sokkan for being a sharing partner, for always being there for me, for treating me so well. Even though we're not close, it's sweet knowing that someone is there thinking of how to solve my problems ( ie, your blog link). Thanks for being the sweetest thing.
Thanks Yongshen, for helping me talk to Eric when me and him fight. For never taking sides, for accompanying me, for helping me train my liqour, for meeting me late night to go drink cause im bored. For sharing your problems with me. Thanks :D.
Thanks Elise for giving me no-nonsense advice. For helping me to grow up and stop being a childish kid. Thanks for comforting me and not judging me. Thanks for being a person to confide in when im insecure, thanks man sheep :D
& also i would like to thank the rest of Eric's friends, esp Rainbow and Willy and Cyndi and Janice for comforting me and the night of the chalet. Even though you guys dont know me well and Janice and Rainbow seems very scary at first but you are all nice people and thanks for being so nice to me. Thanks for helping me plan the chalet too and thanks for hearing me out about the Gastard thing( Rainbow and Janice and Willy) and thanks to Willy and Cyndi for entertaining me that day @ Erwin's house.
& Thanks mummy for being my pillar of support for the past few months. I know it's been really hard on you and i want you to know that i appreciate you. Thanks for spending so much on me and spending even more on my 16th birthday. I love you so much. Thanks for being there for me. Throughout everything. You dont have to try to be both a dad and a mum cause me and Aloy has already accepted it and we esp I love you, as a mother and the best mother a girl could ever have. Million kisses and hugs :D. Thanks for helping me to make my dream come true. :D
Thanks Charlene for being the best social worker a girl can have and thanks for being a great friend.(: . You actually made me think about my life leh, be honored man!
I've really thought through( thought really hard) and all this come from my heart so i hope all of you be very touched and happy and continue to love me :D . (ps: and donate more money to my shopping fund) lol, kidding. Love you all.
Ps: eff lor, i tear when i write this post leh. nehneh.
Very lame lor. Never die want say you die? Whats up with you, death, heaven and hell?
Its like you are overly obsessed lor. Do you think people (i.e me nana natasha all ) will actually feel guilty? Cause its like we werent? I'm still happily going for my Fall Out Boy concert later. However, i know you're reading my blog now, so welllll... my condolences to you ._. . Super lame lor.
I thought is sister? How come become brother?
So who? your new scandals?
(edited/)
Back from the falloutboy concert :D , i love pete wentz, he is sooooo damn hawt!
Met up with Nana yesterday night as i had shitload of problems and i needed someone to talk to. ): . Nana treated me Vodka :D . Talked, thought her how to do the makeup that she wanted to learn & then went over to CrossFire to play my virgin playing of Left 4 Dead. :D
The first round i play, i scream whenever i see a zombie, so i guess i was kind of scared ( okay, i WAS) then i told Nana that i didn't want to play anymore. So we did something lame, we went to play Maple and kill snails :D, after killing snails for 5minutes i got real bored and just decided to try Left 4 Dead for one last time , and i nailed it and i enjoyed it t-h-r-o-u-g-h-l-y ! :D . So now i'm crazy over L4D , i need L4D kakis ! :D .
I miss Natasha, i wonder how is she :( , i have so many things i've got to tell her ): . So people if you see her, help me tell my best friend i miss her.
PS:
thanks Elise :D , i love you ! hahahs, thanks for the concern :D .
( pss: i am NOT a lesbian (: )
Baby & I's 1year6months :D .
Was kind of simple as both of us woke up very late on the 7th. However, baby came over to my place and we went to eat Jack's Place at Eastpoint. Me like-y ! :D. I had my usual spaghetti:D . Baby paid for the meal then we went over to his friend's brithday chalet for awhile then headed down to Boat Quay to meet his friends at the pub to celebrate Guo Xiong's birthday. Lol, it was the most eventful birthday i ever went. :D . When i get the pictures then i'll post it here, let the pictures to the talking eh (: . My night was made wonderful by my new friend but very close now Zaclynn :D . I know we look about the same age but she's 4years older then me. Sigh, she look young and i look old __
6th Feb 2009 :D
Clubbing @Parvillion on the 6th of Febuary :D. Had so much fun there with friends, Huimei & Mandy came along(; , i missed them man! Benje came to club with us too. First time went clubbing with him. He was so nice, he bought 3 shots of alcohol & he gave me one. Was super happy. Clubbed till around 4. Then went over to Mart to have duck noodles before returning home to have my beauty sleep. :D , I guess Huimei had lots of fun yeahs ?
& For Elise ! ; I hate sheep ! baa baa ~
& For Nana ! ; I love Zombies ! I love startling the fucking witch *witch moan, oops!
It just seems like we aren't talking anymore. You seem to busy with your life to actually have a decent conversation. ):
Sigh, i feel like i'm damn stupid. People take advantage of me, people make use of me. In the end, even though i'm not the one who is hurt, somehow people get hurt too. I always feel guitly when i bloghopped to his blog, because in actual fact, it wasn't my fault. It was in fact one of the people he trusts is the one who made it happen. Fuck. Call me if you want to know the full story
Went over to a pub at Boat Quay recently( after me treating everyone includ my mum to Nana to eat!) Its called Chamber something. Went with Baby's friends and mine (Sili, Vincent, Andre, Jeremy, Priscilla, Sherri). Drank liqour and danced with my friends :D . Enjoyed throughly, but someone was drunk so i ended the night being very angry. But it was fun la overall. The waitress there, called Sabrina was very nice so is a girl there called Emily. Made 4 new friends there, FenFen, Claudia, Xue-er and another girl called Emily too who danced fucking nice. Drink drank then went back to baby's house. :D .
{edited}
Just came home from Tampines Mall. Watched All well that ends well with Priscilla, Sherri and Baby :D . Enjoyed the show, very entertaining. Camwhored and i'm going to bed now.
IM GOING FOR BEAUTY COURSE TADA DA DA TADA DA DA DA DA!
Sorry for the lack of updates recently. Priscilla scream at me everyday on MSN, asking me to edit and upload and post things on blogger. But its like damn tiring lor, i've more then 50pictures stocked up collecting dust on my computer. If i were to upload everything, how long would it take? A mere 30 pictures already took like 20minutes of my time? Sigh.
Went out with classmates from school a few days back to catch The Wedding Game. It was, erm, to be honest, hopelessly boring. The funny parts are abit old and seems like they're just trying to hard. The wedding dress is nice, but the plot is abit predictive. So whatever, didn't really enjoyed it. Pictures from that day (bought my cam that day too!)
Then few days ago, watch Love Matters with Baby, Felix, GuoXiong and Vincent. Love Matters was the best ever fucking show released in 2009 (: . It just mocks guy's sexuality and since i was watching the show with 4guys, i had a blast teasing them.
2 best classic lines,
"a guy can only have sex 5000 times, masturbation,ex girlfriends, gay, chicken then for the wife still have enough times meh?"
father buay ki
Son: qing chun xiao niao si qu bu hui lai. {in another room}
Fucking nice, im gonna buy the CD and watch everyday !
Even further back on Chu yi night, went out with Pris darling to meet up with Vincent,Damien,Damien's friend and Junhong, went to slack. Camwhored with Pris aloot aloot! But uploading a little only, cause if i upload the whole bunch my qing chun really kaboom ah.
Yes i know i'm very act-cute __
" wo de qing chun xiao niao si qu bu hui lai" (cue maniac laughter!)
